Once you think you have it kicked, NOPE.
Teared up today because...
-scared Alex isn't getting enough food
- Eric is going back to work Thursday
- Grandpa died
- love my baby
-love Eric
- scared I'm bleeding internally
Crazy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnpbAHXnIm8
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
two week checkup
Not officially cleared for driving, but the doc implied I should just abuse rides as much as possible (I mentioned my husband was going back to work Thursday). Said incision looks good. I sat in the office skared and stresed- I try to avoid thinking about it oo much, but I hurt from it so I get upset. It was too traumatic for me to forgive right now, even though I got my beautiful baby from it.
The next week scares me a little- Eric will be at work, and my parents will be gone to Vegas. I will be on the property all alone with newborn. I will be accepting visitors, lol- going to ask Grandma over probably and looking for another afternoon visitor (maybe to watch a movie) just so I don't feel totally alone. Having Alex all day can be wearing if I'm already tired, but he is a good kid and does nap (like he is doing right now.)
The next week scares me a little- Eric will be at work, and my parents will be gone to Vegas. I will be on the property all alone with newborn. I will be accepting visitors, lol- going to ask Grandma over probably and looking for another afternoon visitor (maybe to watch a movie) just so I don't feel totally alone. Having Alex all day can be wearing if I'm already tired, but he is a good kid and does nap (like he is doing right now.)
Saturday, November 7, 2009
a day at a time...
Every day I'm learning more, able to handle more (Two hour crying fits? Suck.) Every day, I figure I'm getting better about my cesarean, and something else pops up.
I have some pain from the incision- yers, nerves were cut, that kind of thing. And it gets me angry. I wish I could let go of it, because that was what was best for Alex, but I can't yet. Give me more time, give me a belly without soreness and tape, and give me back the feeling in my tailbone area, and we'll talk (yes, part of my butt is still numb. I will be talking about it with my doctor Monday.)
Tonight will be an early bedtime... I'm struggling now, and it's 5:30.
I have some pain from the incision- yers, nerves were cut, that kind of thing. And it gets me angry. I wish I could let go of it, because that was what was best for Alex, but I can't yet. Give me more time, give me a belly without soreness and tape, and give me back the feeling in my tailbone area, and we'll talk (yes, part of my butt is still numb. I will be talking about it with my doctor Monday.)
Tonight will be an early bedtime... I'm struggling now, and it's 5:30.
Friday, November 6, 2009
I love to cook
Seriously. I think it's a family thing. I spent all afternoon working on dinner, s oI'd yummy snack options. And after this stuff cooks, I have chicken that needs to be cooked that will be shredded for- pot pie. I have to make at least one while Eric is home!
So i didn't get to rest, but mentally, I am in a happy place.
tonight's menu- three differnt kinds of sweet potato (courtesy of the local Montessouri high school, AKA "The Farm" that is selling their sweet potatoes) The regulr orange kind, one called "Oriental" and one called "New Jersey" (I think it's got a 'new' on there.) I think I like the New jersey better than the Oriental, which are white and supposably have a 'chestnut' flavor, the Jersey kind are yellow and sweet.
I totally recommend those- I cooked them with butter, brown sugar, a little water, ane cinnamon and nutmeg. I recommend stirring them part way through.
A little honey in the BBQ sauce for the chicken, and Grandma's cheesy rice recipe- yum!
I got my clothes tday, I think I am sending one shirt back, but I am waiting for buying a bra, which I will be doing tomorrow.
I got the biggest one I could find at Target, and it's a little small, but it's niec having another option. I juust can't wear it a lot because it could clog milk ducts (q risk on underwirebras) I figure I'll avoid them while home.
I got a couple things that are more comfort than style, at least right now- I have a little pot belly I am vain about, but hey- I just carried a baby 9 months and had major surgery. I'm giving my body 6 weeks before I worry about pot bellies- my weight is almost back to pre-pregnancy, but I am on worried about that right now either- I have to keep the calorie intake up for Alex right now. Lots of comfy clothes right now, but also stuff I feel OK in. Lots of black though, but everything looks good with black, right?
So i didn't get to rest, but mentally, I am in a happy place.
tonight's menu- three differnt kinds of sweet potato (courtesy of the local Montessouri high school, AKA "The Farm" that is selling their sweet potatoes) The regulr orange kind, one called "Oriental" and one called "New Jersey" (I think it's got a 'new' on there.) I think I like the New jersey better than the Oriental, which are white and supposably have a 'chestnut' flavor, the Jersey kind are yellow and sweet.
I totally recommend those- I cooked them with butter, brown sugar, a little water, ane cinnamon and nutmeg. I recommend stirring them part way through.
A little honey in the BBQ sauce for the chicken, and Grandma's cheesy rice recipe- yum!
I got my clothes tday, I think I am sending one shirt back, but I am waiting for buying a bra, which I will be doing tomorrow.
I got the biggest one I could find at Target, and it's a little small, but it's niec having another option. I juust can't wear it a lot because it could clog milk ducts (q risk on underwirebras) I figure I'll avoid them while home.
I got a couple things that are more comfort than style, at least right now- I have a little pot belly I am vain about, but hey- I just carried a baby 9 months and had major surgery. I'm giving my body 6 weeks before I worry about pot bellies- my weight is almost back to pre-pregnancy, but I am on worried about that right now either- I have to keep the calorie intake up for Alex right now. Lots of comfy clothes right now, but also stuff I feel OK in. Lots of black though, but everything looks good with black, right?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I only have a week
until Eric goes back to work. I was blessed to have him three weeks, if he had stayed on the original plan, he would have been back today...
I'm a little scared, I will have him all to myself all day Monday through Friday, on top of cooking dinner (cesarean says keep it on light side housework wise for 6 weeks... I'll let him continue to do the dishes, but I can help with laundry, I think. And some cleaning has GOT to get done.
I didn't do any today because I was upset again, first a botched doc's appointment this morning, the remembering "OH yeah, I can't wear my rings yet because I never found them."
That and napping with Eric and Daisy on the bed... baby starts fussing, who gets up? Mommy. Dog and Daddy slept through it. *sigh* Man's best friend my butt.
So Alex has been napping all afrernoon in his swing- I'm scared he has discovered it and decided it's more comfortable than a crib- he's just wanted to be held a lot the last couple days, which is fine. He wants to be held, we hold him. Sometimes we hold him when he's not even awake to enjoy it, but we do.
Breastfeeding is hard, but looking at him after eating makes me smile. It's a good feeling to be able to take care of his needs, and I'm glad he takes to a bottle so easy, Eric fed him this morning... I'm a little dependent of the bottles come Thanksgiving time- I think I can sneak away gracefully better at Grandma's than at Eric's parents' friends, so I will have to have a couple of bottles ready.
Yes, I've been concerned with Thanksgiving before Alex came, lol. We haven't done the two places in one day before, but I figured it was important to do... we're just going to do Carona first... I haven't asked her yet, but I think it will work. grandma's Thanksgiving starts at 1ish, so hopefully we can go to Johnny and June's for a couple of hours beforehand (not looking forward to it especially, but whatever.)
I'm a little scared, I will have him all to myself all day Monday through Friday, on top of cooking dinner (cesarean says keep it on light side housework wise for 6 weeks... I'll let him continue to do the dishes, but I can help with laundry, I think. And some cleaning has GOT to get done.
I didn't do any today because I was upset again, first a botched doc's appointment this morning, the remembering "OH yeah, I can't wear my rings yet because I never found them."
That and napping with Eric and Daisy on the bed... baby starts fussing, who gets up? Mommy. Dog and Daddy slept through it. *sigh* Man's best friend my butt.
So Alex has been napping all afrernoon in his swing- I'm scared he has discovered it and decided it's more comfortable than a crib- he's just wanted to be held a lot the last couple days, which is fine. He wants to be held, we hold him. Sometimes we hold him when he's not even awake to enjoy it, but we do.
Breastfeeding is hard, but looking at him after eating makes me smile. It's a good feeling to be able to take care of his needs, and I'm glad he takes to a bottle so easy, Eric fed him this morning... I'm a little dependent of the bottles come Thanksgiving time- I think I can sneak away gracefully better at Grandma's than at Eric's parents' friends, so I will have to have a couple of bottles ready.
Yes, I've been concerned with Thanksgiving before Alex came, lol. We haven't done the two places in one day before, but I figured it was important to do... we're just going to do Carona first... I haven't asked her yet, but I think it will work. grandma's Thanksgiving starts at 1ish, so hopefully we can go to Johnny and June's for a couple of hours beforehand (not looking forward to it especially, but whatever.)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
getting the hang of naps
out of sheer exhaustion. Seriously, what am I going to do when Eric isn't here? I hope by then I've got the energy... I think part of it is the physical demand of breastfeeding- I've never caught up to what I lost in the hospital, so I am trying to get up my calorie intake... my hunger signals still don't always work. Mostly i eat 2 lunches, but they tend to be smaller. I had snacks by the glider for night, but wasn't really eating them... need to get back to that and find good stuff 4 that ( it was stuff like carrot sticks).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
